Skip to main content

Random Acts Of Kindness, Self Love & Our Decaying Moral Fiber

Last summer, I battled the random acts of kindness hash tag with my much despised 100 Days of Hopper. Usually I chose something I found hypocritical to rant about and went from there. This year, I've either been blocked, I've unfollowed or I've simply managed to miss all of these. I was sent one about someone handing out some sandwiches and then attending a $150 per ticket Broadway show, but they're not my friends, so it doesn't bother me as much. Although it should be noted, they are friends with the queen of telling people when she does something "random."

Since we seem to have got away from the hash tag craze, I see we've entered into this new "self love" era. Now, there is nothing wrong with being comfortable and confident in yourself. That is one of the main components in Maslow's hierarchy of needs (my Bible), but here's the problem...it's not the highest level of achievement. Self actualization is and while you need to have self esteem and self love, it's not the end. There are also a higher and lower level of importance of self love and while I know many people who boast about the achievements and their status, this is actually the lower level, because in the end, materialistic vices, even if they are achieved, aren't nearly as important as true competence and confidence, because that gives on true freedom. Just having good looks, money and a good job, isn't enough, because many times, those things simply gloss over what you're deficient in.

Self actualization is the mastery or in my mind, complete confidence that at the end of the final day, you've done all you can. To do so, you must be comfortable not only in your skin, but comfortable in how everyone who matters views you. You have to have literally left everything on the table, never compromising what matters and have the ability to be proud, without being cocky. In essence, you must be humbled by your own achievements.

While this might sound impossible, I have always liked this to the unconditional love of a child. That child, might turn out to be a concert pianist or they might turn out to be a janitor, but when that parents looks back, they are proud of the person they brought into the world, they are proud with how they raised them and they are proud with what they have achieved, regardless if it was what they expected or wanted, because they did everything they could, without ever compromising their values.

So this sounds like a  lot of psychological and philosophical bullshit for something I'm about to share on social media, but it's social media that has me thinking about this. I've friends who have achieved thing through cheating, but praise their hard work, because they no longer cheat. I have friends who have compromised friendships to get ahead, but they have made up, so they view it as acceptable. I have friends who are going through horrible suffering, but take the time to apologize for "taking up my time," when it is I who am humbled that they trust me to talk. Then there are those who I've listen to grovel for months, some years, who finally feel they've reached the mountain top and have bragged and boasted about all they have. I look at them and their insecurities shine as bright as the sun. Sometimes you think, you're wrong about people and you try and convince yourself, but really, they just use you to step to the top, but they don't realize, that you had walked down from a much higher mountain, to help them up their hill.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

11 Rules of Life - Bill Gates?

I read this on Facebook this morning.  A friend had posted it and said that every child should have to receive this. I of course read it and started to think.  I immediately wondered who really wrote this, as I rarely see things like this attributed to the proper person.  I immediately found it was written by Conservative Charles J. Sykes when he wrote a book about how America is dumbing down our youth.  I read it twice and started to wonder how true it was.  Below is a link to the actual picture I saw. So let's look at each of the rules and analyze them. Rule 1: Life is not fair — get used to it! - Life is not fair in that we are not all afforded the same opportunities based on race, creed, color, socio-economic background, but in general, those who are afforded the same opportunities to succeed are very often rewarded for their individual efforts.  Sure there may be underlying circumstances, but hard work is proven to pay more often than not and those who strive for succ

White Privilege

This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo

Quickie Review - Finding Vivian Maier

While I thoroughly enjoyed the film, especially the first 15-20 minutes, I was a little bothered by the way the film played out. The interviews with the clearly disturbed brother, sister and the mother, who obviously, was in for a cut, didn't need to be in the film. Then the woman who suggested abuse, yet seemed to have her life defined by Maier, as she tried to muster every ounce of emotion and fake guilt. Her friend, more than happy to be party of the charade. People who talk about abuse for the first time, usually don't do so on camera. The fact these scenes were so prominent, shows that they felt wronged that they were not rewarded. Maloof on the other hand, seems to disappear from the documentary during this part, almost hiding away from the fact, he went from complete praise, to even making money off of her, to destroying her personal legacy. He almost mentions the family of boys taking care of her rent, as an afterthought. Her burial spot, never shown, yet a video of her