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Quickie Review - Godzilla (2014)

I'm just going to come right out and say it. It's easily, without question, one of the worst movies ever made. Now, this is not to say there isn't something for people to like. It's two hours of mind-numbing stupidity, but with that comes relaxation for some. Many thing I have overrated Raid: Redemption, because the plot is pretty simplistic and the acting is pretty much nothing more than being able to fight, but I found so much more and non-stop entertainment. Even it's weak sequel had some flashes of brilliance. This movie, none. Even the most exciting scene, the HALO drop is so silly, because when you see what happens, you realize it's completely unnecessary.

So why is it so terrible? Bryan Cranston to start. Now I must admit that I have not sat through eight seasons of Breaking Bad and to be honest, I've only seen four episodes, but I can say without question, from what I have seen, he's easily one of the worst actors alive. He's a good guy and a great interview, but he's not very good at his craft. Maybe Breaking Bad is something special, I will find out one day, I'm sure, but until then, let us please stop using him as a leading man. How they convinced Juliette Binoche to co-star in such a meaningless role, absolutely baffles the mind. The kid from Kick-Ass was absolutely dreadful in every scene he is in, although kudos for making me laugh, when he two brags about his bomb defusing prowess. Even the shining star of the horrid remake Oldboy, Elizabeth Olsen, completely mails it in as the always crying army wife. It's horrible.

So, who the hell cares about acting? This is an action movie with monsters. First off, two of the monsters look like a praying mantis if their eyes lit up with LED lights. Then there is Godzilla, who I must say, looks like he's been hitting the gym. His long neck is now much more muscular and he has longers arms and hands. Oh yeah and his whole body lights up for absolutely no reason and instead of breathing fire, he breathes, whatever it is, but let's just say this, it's the kiss that tops Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. Did I mention David Straitharn is in this? No really, he is and he mails it in too. Sally Hawkins is basically an extra. Who the allowed this?

Anyway, it'll be a long time before I consider checking out a sequel to this mess, but it can't be worse, so it does have that going for it. Hell, even Troll 2 was better than Troll.

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