So funny, seeing things from afar. Even those I didn't normally see in person, I see so differently. The sun shined today, seemingly the first time in a week, but not really. I felt fatigued, even symptoms to that in which, knock on wood, I haven't experienced in two years, maybe even three. The scraping sound of a ladder, familiar to my memories, sounded outside the window. Finally the slumber began and I awoke, still groggy, but aware. The ache was gone, but the cloudiness remained and for the first time in ages, I took a pill to relieve the pain. A nice dinner and a better baseball game put me in a brighter mood. I really started thinking later in the night and it made me realize that so much of what makes us happy in this world is simply our ability to shut off our cares. In many cases, to turn off our brains. Some are masters of this and some it comes more naturally, but it is, albeit not one I desire, a true gift. I also thought about how other's decisions, even in their inaction causes changes in our own lives. One such action, which was compounded today, truly struck a nerve. It made me realize that the decisions of others, when we know deep down they are regretted, burn us inside. I can't turn that off, just as I can't turn off the pain I feel when I know a friends child is suffering. Not physical pain, nor even emotional, but the pain I see that will be caused down the road. A pain, so few even know they are inflicting. Tell me again, it's none of my business. So I go to faceless, nameless children in other towns I'll never visit and read about them in the paper. Those I "admire" won't ever hear or read about them and they'll go about their happy lives. It's 5:30am again. Same time I laid down the night before. I hope I'll receive the luxury of more than 165 minutes this time. Maybe today I'll be able to ignore my own woes, so the woes of strangers won't bother me nearly as much. Maybe, I'll go eat some hummus. That always helps.
This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo
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